In my last post I mentioned an exercise that I did with my nutritionists that I really enjoyed. It really opened my eyes and made me realize a lot of things. I loved this exercise. It was very hard to do, but so worth it. tI wrote a letter to my body. I did not have time to plan it out or really think about it I just started writing- (this is exactly what I wrote in my session. I did not edit it)
I am so sorry for what I have put you through in the last few years. It was something that no one should have to go though. You are the only body I have in this life. That is why I have decided to stop torturing you and get help. You have done amazing things for me this last year in regards to running and weight lifting without the proper fuel! It is time for me to return the favor. I am trying my hardest to refuel you and give you some rest. It is a hard process but I am willing to do it. I know you cannot keep going for much longer if I do not change. I love the way you look right now and so do a lot of people. You deserve the compliments and the credit from the people that acknowledge my body. But, what some people do not see or understand is that you are not as healthy as they think. I need to realize this to and I have. I hope that you will forgive me as we go on this journey to freedom together…without our enemy ED.
Lots of love,
Then I wrote a letter from my body to me- (This was hard for me. I was not sure if I should be mean and cruel or understanding and caring.)
WOW! Thank you so much for finally realizing this! You are right! I have accomplished a lot this last year without the proper fuel and rest. It has been very long and hard. I am glad that you want to change. Not just for yourself, but me. I am glad that you have started to fuel me better and I hope you keep going. More fuel would be much appreciated though. Me and you are inseperable. WE have to wprk together and be a tea,. Together we will accomplish great things. Please keep going strong. I am here for you and always will be.
****While writing this I realized that I do not see my body as a women or even a man. I see body as a higher power. Someone with great wisdom. Someone that truly only knows me and my personal needs. They know how much food I need, how much I need to rest, and what truly makes me happy. I need to listen to body way more than ED. This is the challenge I have be faced with. I have blocked out bodies voice and have been listening to ED. This is changing now. I am listening to Body way more, but at times ED still prevails. This is part of recovery. It is not going to be an easy walk in the park. There will be ups and downs, twists and turns….but as long as I am moving in the right direction I will be fine.
I hope you all enjoyed this post. If you are going through recovery I encourage you to do this exercise. You might be surprised how much it effects you…I was. As always I am here for anyone that needs anything. Feel free to email me with any questions, concerns, or anything else.