Before I start rambling on about my life I want to show you guys this….
This quote is truly amazing to me. Never doubt yourself. In order to achieve something you have to believe in yourself! Sure there can be other people around you that believe in you and support you ,but unless you actually believe in yourself there will be no change. This is what describes my recovery so far. I feel like I have mad a great amount of progress so far since starting recovery at the beginning of the summer. I wanted to change. I wanted to live a happy life. And I am on that road. Sure, there were times when I had doubts about myself but I pushed though and I believed in myself. When the going gets tough just believe in yourself.
Okay, now onto my life updates. I am loving my counselor. She is honestly so awesome. I have only been meeting with her once a week, but every night I call her and tell her about my day and my struggles and then she calls me back and leave a message. I love this. It is like i get to talk to her everyday! I love her because she not only help with my ED struggles but my other life struggles including college, boys, and just girl problems. My last appointment she had me do this awesome exercise that really opened my eyes.( I am going to do a whole post on this soon. So stay tuned). I also saw my nutritionist for the second time on Tuesday. I really wanted to change up my meal plan in certain areas. The first meal plan she gave me was one that was not very different than the way I eaten for a whole year and a half. I decided I was so tired of that. I want change. I wanted to change! So we added NEW foods to my meal plan and more options so that I am not eating the same thing every dang day. So far I have been loving it!
These last week and a half has been great. I have challenged myself with going to Qudoba, trying new options, making snacks bigger and eating fear foods (Quinoa, crackers, and coconut oil). I also used to have an ED rule in my head where I was only allowed to eat at certain times or have to wait a certain amount of time before I ate anything, even if I am starving. But now I am getting much better at that. I am listening to my body more. I am wanting to try new things and change up my diet. I have added way more healthy fats which I am loving! I am so so so proud of myself for doing this-fats used to be a big no no for me, but not anymore! I have also stopped weighing my self and wearing my HRM when I run. I have been writing in a journal everyday and recording my daily eats in my journal. I also record how I feel. I loving have a journal and just being able to reflect on my recovery. It helps me a lot to write out what I am thinking. They only thing that I am not to happy about is that I am still using my fitness pal. I am not using it nearly as much. I jam starting to slowly trust myself and my body. Once I do this fully MFP will be gone!
I still do have bad moments. But, I am trying to just focus in the positive. There is no point on dwelling on the past. What is done is done. You live and you learn. Thats what recovery is-a learning experience. I am growing stronger and a person. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. This whole thing happened to me for some reason and I am going to make it the best of it.
Thanks so much for following my recovery journey thus far. I hope you all are doing well and having a great summer/winter where ever you are in the world. I am hear for you if you ever need anything. My email is in the “contact” me section on my blog.